


Importance.

by Brokenanathema



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, Self Harm, josh centric, pretty graphic descriptions of self harm, trigger warning, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:25:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brokenanathema/pseuds/Brokenanathema
Summary: "Tyler is far more important than me" the thought carouseled around Josh head, deeply embedded into the pit of his stomach.Josh needs a release, drumming just isn't enough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, sorry for not being so active recently. Shits happened.  
> Anyway please, please, please read this with care okay? This contains some pretty triggering stuff so please try to stay safe and more importantly stay alive. Love ya x

The moonlight has such a romantic way of making the darkness feel like perfect company.  
Unfortunately the darkness hides it's true nastiness behind the perfect mask, not everyone in this world will feel the wreath of its cruelty.  
Josh wondered if this was a punishment.  
Whether he truly deserved to be sat on the cold bathroom tiles, whilst his two room mates are lost in a beautiful deep sleep.  
Josh wondered what he could do to make everyone like him, he had already gone back to his natural hair, that's what everyone wanted right? He had to obey everyone else's wishes; after all everyone on this planet is far more important than him.  
Josh felt like he never quite had that charm Tyler naturally has. Tyler is a showman, he has a way with words that had saved lives. Josh hated the fact that he was jelous, he hated it, hated it, hated it.  
Josh felt like he deserved to be punished.  
For being anxious.  
For being clingy.  
For ruining everyone's time.  
For being so pathetic.  
For being so being useless.  
"why" he mumbled.  
Josh slumped against the wall, legs against the tiles.  
He wondered why he existed.  
Whats the point of carrying on?  
No no no no no.  
He can't think that.  
No.  
Josh was angry with himself.  
But as much as he tried to compress the thought, he still found his mind wondering off into thinking about ways he could end it all and how much it would hurt.  
This happened far more often then he'd like to admit.  
He wasn't going to end it all.  
Not tonight anyway.  
But he was sure going to punish himself.  
The shining blade.  
He let a single tear roll down his cheek, it felt dramatic; like in movies. Josh thought his life was nothing but a sad move sometimes.  
He rolled down his pyjama trousers to his ankles and revealed a spectrum of cuts, all varying in depths and colours.  
Josh felt proud of the deep ones and he hated himself for it.  
He pressed the metal against his skin and cringed at the sound of his skin ripping.  
1  
2  
3  
4  
Josh hated how much better it felt.  
He watched the blood trickle down his thigh, catching it before it hit his underwear.  
He pressed down again.  
The door creaked.  
Tyler gasped in horror.  
"Josh" Tyler said calmly "give me the blade"  
"No" Josh was beginning to panic, hyperventilating.  
"Joshua, give me the blade"  
Josh was really panicking now, creating deep slits, quick slits. His hands was shaking and his heart was pounding.  
"No" he sobbed.  
Tyler grabbed his wrist but Josh pushed him of with his free hand.  
Tyler tackled him to the floor but Josh was far more muscular and thought out of Tyler's grip.  
"What's going on?" Asked Mark, awakened by the commotion.  
He saw the blood on Josh thigh and Tyler practically on top of joshs chest fighting for the blade.  
"You take on arm I'll take the other" mark yelled to Tyler.  
Mark grabbed Josh left arm and pinned it to the floor whilst Tyler grabbed his right and snatched the blade of off him.  
Josh was hysterically crying and still trying to escape their grip, his back was hurting like a bitch against the floor and a waterfall of snot was falling down his face, but it didn't matter nothing mattered.  
Mark looked at Tyler, nothing in life prepared the boys for this.  
Josh slowly gave up on trying to escape.  
Mark and Tyler released their grip on his arms and Tyler instructed Mark to hide the blade.  
Josh sat up and leaned against Tyler's chest, he cried, he sobbed and he cried some more.  
Mark returned with a first aid box, Josh stared blankely as mark and Tyler gasped as they realised how far he went. 

"Everything's going to be okay" Tyler soothed. 

it really wasn't.


End file.
